Lost voice

Screaming for the voice inside my mind,
The confident streak that I can’t find.
Stuck with the placid, I want to be free,
Show you the fiery side no one can see.

Fear? Respect? It’s too hard to tell,

As if I’m under the boring bugger spell.

Where is it hidden? Where has it gone?
Too long since this fiery beacon has shone.

Perhaps a combination of starting anew

Taking time to let the real me through.

Maybe the people I loved brought it out,

Those gone from my life I can’t live without.

Singing, jokes and laughter all died

For hours I have thought of this and cried.

Deep conversations, the occasional hug,

Now a wry smile and a casual shrug.

I hear those around me drunkenly chant,

Whilst I sit at my keyboard and lyrically rant.

Wishing there was a way that I could connect

Every part of my being I’ve had to dissect.

It is often the case, that one quote can seize me,
“Nothing in this world worth having comes easy”

So I shall not give up this search without fight,
To find the spark that allows my soul to ignite.

Flight of the Butterfly

Like a colourful butterfly that dropped from the sky,
You float into my life with a dazzling effect.
Instincts told me to capture you instantly,
Soon you were hovering around in my net.

Strange, new emotions then fill up my world,
Unable to grasp why you would chose me.
Doubt fills my mind, the dark haze appears,
All energies focus on keeping you happy.

Second guesses as my brain stresses,
Turning comfortable silence awkward.
Stuck inside my mind, obsession creeps in,
Trapped in the depths unable to move forward.

And yet you are such a beautiful, wondrous girl,
I don’t want to lead you down a path of despair.
Self-loathing because loving you doesn't come naturally,
You don’t understand how much I care.


The colourful butterfly escapes from its cage,

Fluttering away before I can savour your touch.
Tears fill my eyes as you fly from my life,
The best way to lose something is to want it too much.

So Near Yet So Far

The friend of a friend who lives a long way away,
How I wish you could come over to stay.
Quenching the need to hold you tight,
Lost in a moment that just feels right.

Timeless hours of nonsensical laughter,

Maybe a walk in the countryside after.
In a serenely peaceful spot we would lie,
Living our lives on an endless high.

Connected together and yet so apart,
A friend who has seen me open my heart.
But her beautiful self in the flesh I’m denied,
I wish I could hold you here by my side.

But for now I’ll have to admire from afar,
Like a night gazer wonders at a glistening star.
One day we’ll embrace in a hug full of love,
I’ll keep waiting for my star from above.

Countdown to Love

10 Seconds it took me to pluck up the courage,
To walk over and tell you how I couldn’t envisage,
A more beautiful face than yours in my eyes.
You convince no one that these claims are lies.

9 Days as friends, sharing our stories,
As we recite days of our former glories.
But within moments I had already asked myself how,
I had existed without your presence til now.

8 Months as lovers, exploring our passion,
I never expected to live life in this fashion.
Hopelessly devoted to the girl of my dreams,
The shining beacon of amour still gleams.

7 Walks along the riverside to our special spot,
Holding you closely with my heart feeling hot.
A sunset so sensual that our souls seem to melt,
These moments more peaceful than I’d ever felt.

6 Arguments forced to encounter, most of them petty,
Threatening to end what had seemed so right to me.
But somehow we survived, love conquered all,
This wouldn’t feel real without the occasional fall.

5 Radiant red roses on St Valentines Day,
Expressing my delight in every possible way.
Something I do shamelessly every day like I should,
The first person who made me feel like I could.

4 Weeks later, and we’re handed the key,
A new house, a new chapter awaits you and me,
Then, in our small, sweet garden, we just stop and lie,
Talking sweet nothings as we stare at the sky.

3 Words that started the speech I prepared,
“I love you” the simple message I shared.
The happiest day in my short adult life,
This wonderful creature would be my wife.

2 Wedding rings in a ceremony filled with joy,
The amazement that I was your favourite boy.
A few “I do’s” then the status was sealed,
No overwhelming emotion left concealed.

1 Future ahead of us with so much potential,
With a burning attraction, a force so essential.
Sometimes I wonder if it was a gift from above,
The beauty involved in the countdown to love.

Your choice

Dedicated to a special friend.

When the emotions you’re feeling are rare and pure,
Why should they act like you’re in need of a cure?
The melodious sound this love makes you sing,
How can you deny such a beautiful thing?

Delicate philosophies undoubtedly differ,
But their dismissive reaction just makes me shiver.
They can’t control how a person should feel,
Your soul is one thing these people can’t steal.

Find love in Scotland, why should they care?
No doubt you will be happier there.
The man of your dreams is waiting for you
Make a last stand and your dreams shall come true.

In a few years’ time, I’ll come and visit.
Because in my heart, I can envisage,
That melodious sound this love makes you sing,
Will produce such a wonderful, beautiful thing.

Led into Temptation

A photo of you and me on my wall,
Reminds me of your rise and fall.
The lovely and innocent girl of the past,
Why couldn't that beautiful soul of yours last?

Dragged into a world of fakeness and bitches,
Found an opportunity to turn rags to riches.
Forgetting the values that served you so well,
Sweet purity of heaven sacrificed for temptations of hell.

Drinking your life away in bars in the city,
While I look at the photo and think what a pity.
The lovely and innocent girl of the past,
Why couldn't that beautiful soul of hers last? 

Moving Day

The most exciting yet nervous time of my life,
Waiting for moving day to arrive.
Change is afoot with new sights to see,
As I finally find out what it means to be free.

Memories strike me of the people I’ll miss,
The girl who gave me my very first kiss.
My friends who stood by me when I was a mess,
What I’ll do without them is anyone’s guess.

Yet the journey I’m taking fills me with hope,
Yes, there will be times when I’m struggling to cope.
But realising a dream is all the persuasion I need,
To move on from the comfortable life I lead.

There have been many men who try yet fail,
With only a few who survive and prevail.
These men are united with one common thought
They’re proud they went for the dreams they sought.

So when I move on to my new life in a few week’s time,
I hope you understand that isn’t a crime,
To be happy in leaving all the people I know,
I’m just taking this chance to let myself go.