Lost voice

Screaming for the voice inside my mind,
The confident streak that I can’t find.
Stuck with the placid, I want to be free,
Show you the fiery side no one can see.

Fear? Respect? It’s too hard to tell,

As if I’m under the boring bugger spell.

Where is it hidden? Where has it gone?
Too long since this fiery beacon has shone.

Perhaps a combination of starting anew

Taking time to let the real me through.

Maybe the people I loved brought it out,

Those gone from my life I can’t live without.

Singing, jokes and laughter all died

For hours I have thought of this and cried.

Deep conversations, the occasional hug,

Now a wry smile and a casual shrug.

I hear those around me drunkenly chant,

Whilst I sit at my keyboard and lyrically rant.

Wishing there was a way that I could connect

Every part of my being I’ve had to dissect.

It is often the case, that one quote can seize me,
“Nothing in this world worth having comes easy”

So I shall not give up this search without fight,
To find the spark that allows my soul to ignite.